Nashville Magician | Rodney Kelley | Magic Shows Nashville | Balloon Artist Nashville, Tennessee

Thursday, September 21, 2017

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Very Interesting Thoughts


1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2· There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.

3· Life is sexually transmitted.

4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7· Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?  Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .

13· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?


14· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

16· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

20. Do you ever wonder why you are reading this crap?

Wise Sayings To Live By

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

 

Rev William JH Boetcker

Wise Sayings

"The first one to resort to name calling has lost the argument"  - Grandpa Phil

 

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

 

"There are things that are so dumb, you have to learn them."  

 

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

 

"The left is far more interested in gaining power than in creating wealth."

 

"If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
- Vincent Van Gogh

 

There's absolutely nothing that the government does smarter, better, or more efficiently than the private market with roughly equivalent resources.  -    townhall.com 

Sayings about Socialism

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.."
-- Winston Churchill

 

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.

 

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

 

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

 

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

 

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.  - Dr. Adrian Pierce Rogers

Don't Stay Down!

"Music inspires people, and inspired people don't stay down."

Have some music to inspire - I just love her voice!

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Important questions for the Magician...

If you are having a Magic Show, here are some important questions the Magician will need to know.

How many children will be attending the show?

Will the Magic Show be indoors or outdoors?

Will the adults be watching the Magic Show?

How much time will be allotted for the Magic Show? or how long would you like the show to go?

What ages are the children watching the Magic Show?

It may sound funny to ask these questions but the answers help to make your event the very best it can be!

 

 

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